August 26, 2011
Good education for make benefit glorious nation of India

As I dumped my FIITJEE books to scrap, I noticed a few termites walking out of them. They seemed to appear knowledgeable and pedantic having consumed papers from IIT math, physics and chemistry books and were strutting out of the books with aplomb. As I saw this, it brought memories of my own IIT preparation.

*Tortoise coil rotation

Parents in India are liberal about their career choices. For instance, every child in south India can “BE what they want to BE. As long as they are BEing”. Every kid has the right to become whatever software engineer he/she wants to be. IIT coaching starts generally from the 9th standard in India. Nowadays it starts earlier, during the child’s conception in some cases. “Are IITians pistas?”, you might ask. Ask a parent this and they would tell you that they are in fact pistas, badams, cashews and other dry fruits that exist(Though they are bad when it comes to dates).

IIT coaching centers are an organized crime in our country where gross violation of human rights take place. And yes, there are coaching centers to provide coaching for the entrance exams conducted by the popular coaching centers. IIT materials are ubiquitous in our country. An average IIT book’s weight equals that of a baby chimp. If education is not your primary concern, they could be used as effective assault weapons inflicting mass destruction, stool height adjusters, pillows or house construction material. 



It takes atleast two years of rigorous labor to become an IITian. Shut your kid up in a room with no external disturbances whatsoever. Water can be provided through a pump that pushes steam through a tube that reaches out to your child’s room. Provide liquefied food via another tube so that your child can open the nozzle and consume it whenever he wants to. If possible chain your kid though it is not mandatory.

After two years of rigorous imprisonment, the change is evident. Don’t bother about the occasional grumpy dial-up modem like noises.


*Forgive the bad imagery. Lazy to download pirated photoshop.

 I pretty much went through the same routine. I enrolled in FIITJEE, though I was UNFITJEE. I enrolled in Brilliant tutorials and the only thing I liked there were the podi dosas you get outside the center. For somebody like me who used to read ethyl alchol as “chatri chattu oh(CH3 CH2 OH)”, IIT preparation was hell. And when the D-day arrived I was as prepared as Debashish Monanty ready to take on Sanath Jayasuriya in prime form. I marked the OMR sheet in such a way that connecting them gave a nicely formed Rangoli shape. However, I did not come out in flying colors and was screened out. The kids good in pulley problems made it to IITs, kids proficient in pulling plaits of girls made it to arts courses while useless folks like me chose engineering in relatively lowbrow colleges.

However I performed reasonably well in 57 other entrance tests and was ready to pick an engineering course  based on a poll among my relatives. Most relatives wanted me to take up Electronics and Communications as it offered a choice of working in Electronics, Communications, the IT field or pole dancing. I was not keen on pole dancing and hence took up computer science. 

My advice to young kids is to work very hard on their studies. Education is the key, to get a good bride and a nice dowry. As per the latest survey conducted by an obscure American company, the following are ranked as the most vied upon people in the marriage market.

1. IIT + IIM (book authoring a bonus)

2. Doctors

3. Civil services

4. MS grad/Onsite engineer(US,UK, Singapore mainly)

5. Animals

6. Local software engineers, electrician, plumber, lineman

So study hard. Hulkeshwar hungry. Hulkeshwar go now.

*Tortoise coil rotates.

P.S : My termites are writing IIT next year. Sure shot they are getting into IIT Kharagpur. I am telling you.

  1. lmvdr reblogged this from sarcasan
  2. khublani reblogged this from sarcasan
  3. omkaras reblogged this from sarcasan and added:
    They were the best of times they were the worst of times. BASE tutorials + Dwarka + Adiga’s + Vidyarthi Bhavan = Amazing...
  4. hyperbolicme reblogged this from sarcasan and added:
    (for the uninitiated, the title of the link is intentionally with bad grammar. it is a kind of desi/Indian humour.)...
  5. sarcasan posted this
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